I’ll totally admit it. I acted inappropriately when Rev Run came into the mall a couple months ago. I couldn’t keep my cool. All I wanted to do was go up to him and do the running man while singing “It’s Tricky.” I am still ashamed, to be quite honest.
But then Derek Jeter came in. And I played it so cool. Ice cold, actually.
He came in with his friends, being all, “I’m macho. I’m a big, famous baseball player, lah-de-dah!” Nonetheless, we were all fairly excited. I mean, he is Derek Jeter. It’s pretty cool that he was right there in front of me. If I wanted to be creepy I totally could have touched his hand when I gave him his triple grande nonfat cappuccino at the handoff bar. (I didn’t, don’t worry.) We were super slammed, line out the door, drink cups piling up at the bar, and we admittedly didn’t have our best barista on bar. So I stepped in to help relieve some of the pressure and get the rush taken care of. All of a sudden, I look up and see Jeter making a stank-face. Like he is too good to wait for a cappuccino like the rest of the store. And my store manager is trying to talk to him (because we are supposed to talk to every customer) and he is acting like a total jerk!
Derek, you aren’t that hot. Up close you have mild acne and are way too skinny. Plus, I hate the Yankees.
Next, while touring the John Hancock Observatory last weekend, our audio-guide/MC was David Schwimmer. I don’t know if he is that goofy for realsies, or if he just was playing up his Ross-like characteristics, but he cracks some fairly terrible jokes. All of a sudden, when our group is finishing up and getting ready to head back down, we look up and who do we see? Ross! I mean, David! Now I get that being famous is tough. I mean, your life becomes public entertainment, you can’t go anywhere without being recognized, and your compensation is mere millions. Totally not worth it, if you ask me. But when you are somewhere highly populated with big cameras following you, and you are at work, not just trying to enjoy the day with your family, don’t even give people who look at you this face. I mean, it’s not like we are running up to you, or pulling out our cameras and trying to get a quick snapshot.
Ross, you are a washed up actor. Your career has been reduced to Hancock tours and Madagascar. Get ova’ yo self.
The last famous person that I have ran into lately I would have expected to be the douchy-ist. Have you heard of Buckcherry? How about this lovely gem of a “song?“ The lead singer Josh Todd and back-up man Stevie D. came into my store last week. I was totally expecting the worst. Their music is fairly terrible, to say the least, and the image they portray is hard, rocker-boys.
I can’t describe how cool they were when they came in! Perhaps it is because they aren’t the same level of “famous” as the other guys I’ve met lately, but they were so laid back, completely humble and the lead singer Josh even ordered a hot green tea with one honey! I won’t go on and on, but I was impressed. The guys were nice, they chatted with us while we made their drinks, and they even came back the next day, still just as friendly.
Maybe singing about “Crazy B*tches” isn’t such a character flaw after all.
-BG
