The past couple of weeks a mother has been leaving her two kids (a 5-year-old boy and 8ish-year-old girl) on the third floor of Psych building while she goes to class. The first time it happened I figured it was a babysitting issue, but it now happens every Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours. The first night, the two hung out playing with my Turtles (see below a weak version of a TMNT set, I totally would have ruled this person’s collection) and other random toys I have in the office for over 45 minutes. (Side note 1: My lab mate, RBurn, said I have more patience than she does because she closed the door to her office.) 
The next time I wasn’t in the office TCass said the little boy, we’ll call him JD, came looking for the “guy with the toys.” Again, I figured it was just a week of no babysitter. Not. The. Case. JD comes and finds me every time they are chilling in the hall to hang out with me. If I don’t have anything to do, fine, JD and I chat about what happens in the day to a five-year-old boy. (Side note 2: Lots of awesome shit happens! Like Karate… umm, I mean, Taekwondo. JD, doesn’t “F around!” He’s in the red getup below.
Other things include, in no particular order: Getting in random fights with your older sister and fake crying about it, which is quite nice when you are trying to analysis data. The computer not working, making X-Men watching almost impossible. Pretending you are Wolverine with pushpins in-between your fingers. Playing your Nintendo DS, PSP, or whatever cool handheld gaming system he has, but I don’t. Liking recess way more than reading time, which is totally understandable. Running everywhere you can in your personal playground that is the Psych building. And, chatting with a 25-year-old grad student about your daily routine and trying to figure out how to earn your next belt in Karate Taekwondo. BTW, JD is concerned because he can’t break wood planks yet, which means he can’t move up from his white belt status. How BA would it be to watch a 5-year-old break some planks?!?!?!? I know JD would wipe the floor with the kids in the pictures below and this four-year-old punk! He’s got one year of life experience on him!)
Whoa! I digress, where was I? Oh yeah, if I’m busy I feel like a jerk because I have to tell JD that I need to work and try to send him on his way with a car toy to roll up and down the halls. He gives me that disappointment face and leaves…. then comes back in two minutes. The other day I had to tell him three times that I couldn’t play. (Side note 3: I wish my mom could stand at the lab door and say, “JW can’t play today.”) He finally stood facing out of the door and said, “I see you just want to kick me out, come and do it,” and did this ‘pretend to get kicked in the butt’ move as he was talking. Feeling bad I then told him I was leaving and he accepted that. I then walked to my door and checked for the clear and closed my door. I was soooo scared of hurting his feelings that I didn’t walk out my door until I knew he was long gone (Side note 3: I think I did some damage to my kidneys because I really had to use the baño.)
I guess the question is: How do I go about breaking up with a 5-year-old boy? (Side note 4: That sounds SO bad that I almost deleted it, but I was laughing so hard after I wrote it that I had to keep it in.)
-JW
